When exactly does a dream die?
Perhaps it is when reality comes along and smacks you in the mouth. Growing up I was filled with grandiose visions of what I wanted to do, and how I would begin to accomplish such goals. Yet as time continued to pass, I found that destiny had other plans for me, not to mention a few bad life decisions on my part. Slowly I could feel myself losing my grasp on some of the dreams I held so close to my heart.
Sadly, instead of fulfilling the lofty ambitions I had set upon myself, I became more interested in the present. Partying somehow became a necessity and a sudden longing for material objects ruled my daily contemplations. Needless to say, some of the things I had always wanted to accomplish fell from my grasp, leaving me unfulfilled and wanting.
I could never fully discard the desires that I had planted so deep into my soul; yet as each day passed, I found that those desires seemed to be from a past that could not be changed. Instead of learning from the mistakes I had suffered, I began to agonize over the countless errors and miscalculations in my life.
Still, I know that dreams can never really die. They simply flutter around you, until you grasp one in your hands and commit yourself until it has been accomplished. Of course this is easier said then done. Thoughts of wealth and status permeates my thinking. All my dreams have been relatively simple. I won't be devasted if I never travel outside of this planet's atmosphere, for example, but my life would feel empty without having the opportunity to entertain others through my words and imagination. To this day, I understand that this goal is something that can still be accomplished, but believe me when I tell you that I've never felt farther away from it then ever before.
Here's a quick rundown of the major goals I had given myself during my impressionable teen years that have carried with me through years of failure and debauchery:
- To write a novel that will captivate the hearts and minds of its readers, giving solace to those who choose to escape into the worlds that I have created.
- To eventually raise a family. I've always imagined myself with a good wife and children whom I could provide for and give them all the opportunities that I have never recieved or foolishly squandered away. (This is not necessarily anytime soon, of course.  )
- To become a man who can stand up straight, look everyone in the eye, and feel confident that I have accomplished something in life.
In my humble opinion, happiness begets wealth. If I can find pleasure in what I do, then surely money will flow. Forcing myself to do something in which I can find no joy leads to a path that no amount of money can ever soothe. In any case, I once again find myself standing on a precipice, looking over a yawning abyss. Perhaps all it takes is a blind leap of faith (not unlike Indiana Jones in The Last Crusade  ).
Dreams don't die. They might be forgotten or misplaced, but I'm sure each and every one of us can find what has once been lost. Forget what this society has ingrained in our minds--and instead embrace the seeds that we planted within our heart years ago. Now if I can only follow my own advice I'm sure I will find myself back on the path that leads to happiness... | 
